Wednesday, December 15, 2010


 I'm afraid that your eyes don't deceive you. I am older--Levi is older--and it seems that not years are furthering the aging process, but the life around us. It was all so busy, hectic, and demaninding, and there were few things keeping me grounded at the moment. One of those things were my family.
 A few days ago, Levi confessed to me that he was fired--had been fired. Oh boy, was I angry. Why didn't he just tell me? No, instead he decided he didn't need the music industry to help him with his dreams. He told me had it all planned out. He and my brother, he claimed, were started a band called the Infiltrators, and he would manage it.

But he wasn't the only one having career difficulties.
That night I had been demoted. Pay decreased and work hours maximized. We were already barely able to pay the bills.

But that wasn't the only shocker. I had also found out I was pregnant. 
And it was all to much. I broke down, right then. I was frustrated. Frustrated that I couldn't help. Couldn't provide a decent home for my little Noel and my future child. Frustrated that I couldn't do anything right. Frustrated, because Levi deserved so much better than me.

My dear Noel. Could it already be that time? As she blew her candles, I made a silent wish for my children. 

May you grow up and prosper. Forgive Mommy. Forgive Daddy. I promise you we did our best. 
 She gave one last dazzling smile to her father, and she was no longer my little Noel, but a woman to be.
 She liked to spend a lot of time in her room. For hours, she would just sit there, and I wondered what she thought about. She was definitely a deep thinker--it took a lot to get her out of those frequent spells.
 I saw so much of her parents in her face. She reminded me of myself when I was her age-- young, carefree, and loving. So why then, when I looked at her, all I wanted to do was cry? 

I did mention there were a few things that kept me grounded did I not? Well Brian here provided me means to express the evil side of me--the side that clawed so angrily to get out.

Was it murder, what I was trying to do? Probably. But Noel would never know, and Levi would never know, and he was simply my source of entertainment for now. 

I predict him dead by nightfall. 

Sunday, December 5, 2010


 I never really cared to have a family. I had always told myself that I would be fine riding solo, and I didn't need anyone to support me. I thought Levi proved that wrong, but it wasn't him that proved it to me. It was Noel. My precious Noel. 
 Babies had forever seemed disgusting too me, and they always seemed to cry too much. But everything she did made my heart melt. To the way she ate, to the way she spoke complete nonsense, even to the way she cried.
Sometimes, I just stared at her in complete admiration. She seemed to be my carbon copy, except for the fact that she had her father's skintone. She was a heavy little sleeper, which I suppose was good for us. She slept all night, and most of the morning. Not only that, but she was also very brave. She was already beginning to walk, and was getting into everything around the house.
Levi thought Noel was simply a delight. When he wasn't working, he was ooh-ing and coo-ing with little Noel. He rarely had any time to himself, he was constantly balancing out work, Noel, and myself. He was an impeccable, father, this was true. 
 Levi built dry wall to make Noel a room; which I was not very happy with considering it meant taking space off of our room. His paranoia led him to install two windows just to make sure she was okay, and placed the bed at an angle to where he could see her at any portion of the night. Which I guess meant that she could see us, so we had to cut out a "certain activity" for the time-being. Or I darned hope it's the time being. 
In the meantime, the evil side of me was feeling a bit neglected, so I decided to call up Brian. 

He wouldn't suspect a thing.

Saturday, December 4, 2010


 We weren't exactly the slow-moving type. The old fashioned ones that waited about a year before they married, to make sure they were the one. But like I've said, some things you just know. You don't need to think.
 But when he bent down on one knee, I would be lying if I said I wasn't surprised, because I was. I had know this man for barely a month, and we were already at this point? I'm not sure I've led many other lives, but the fact remains is that some people wait. And wait a long time. 
 However, Levi and I were both nearing the end of our prime, and we felt no need to delay anything. We both knew how we felt about each other, and as far as I was concerned, nothing could ruin it. 
 I knew I was making the right choice when I accepted. There was no doubts in my mind that there was anyone out there that was better than Levi.
 And I'm certain he felt the same way.
There was no reason as to have a proper marriage, as neither of us had any family, except that I had Tristan. And a one brother wedding would just be lame, so we decided to exchanged our vows right there in his living room. 

(what a story to tell the grandkids)
 As I clasped his hands, nothing in this world felt more right. I was officially the wife of Levi--not Strong--but Vegas.
 He told me that before we did anything else, we should go and tell my brother of our recent marriage. I knew he was right, and I also knew he'd be pissed that I didn't tell him that I was getting married. As far as he was concerned, I was still dating Brian. Boy, wouldn't that help the ever-growing tension of ours!
As we got into the elevator to see Tristan, Levi was thinking of what to say to Tristan when we got to his apartment.

But I had other plans in mind.  


 I had been thinking about it a lot. Quite a bit.
 Brian or Levi? Levi or Brian? Or just screwing the whole relationship thing entirely.... no risks means no pain.

But some things you just know. Just.... yearn for. You can't let go of it, and you can't control it. It lashes out and does what it wants, and you just have to go with it.
 And that was Levi. Levi was everything I could ever imagine and more, and that sounds so cheesy, I know. But there seemed to be nothing else without him. Levi was the star I orbited around, that let me live. 
 It's strange how you can live your entire life without knowing a person, and you can live that way. But once you meet them, life jerks to a stop. The first reaction is shock. A shock so incredible that it hurts, even more so when it's gone. Then you give in. And you're enveloped in a shroud of happiness, and it's all you can see.
 And I,

I was his.

Friday, November 26, 2010


It had been a while since I had seen college boy, who I had come to know as Brian. So it surprised me when Brian came to visit me, as I thought whatever relationship we could have had was wasted. 
He explained to me that he wanted to make it work, and I admired him for having the courage to come back. Clearly, I wasn't his type, but I suppose it was his gentleman-like nature that decided he needed to tie the string off properly. At the end of his visit, I ended up liking him quite a bit, and I looked forward to seeing him again.
The next day, I was instructed by my boss to head over to one of our main guys off the grid. I was given his address and his name, Levi Strong. I wasn't told anything much after that. 
Levi was your basic criminal. No tell, no see, no personal stuff involved. Just get what you need got done and get the hell out. But I was attracted by him, and I decided to stay a little while after for some innocent by-the-by flirting. 
He was exactly my type. Much more so than Brian, and I really liked him, right off the bat. Though, I felt guilty for liking Levi, seeing as Brian was trying so hard to get a relationship going. I wasn't sure how I felt about either of them, seeing as I liked them both, equally. Levi received my flirtations willingly, and even threw some back, so it wasn't long before more than flirting gave way. 
 Why can't choices be simple?
Okay, please note that there is a poll. Please vote, as Maddi can't seem to make up her mind. ;)

Monday, November 15, 2010


 A few weeks had passed, and the tension in the home was now easing up now that I was earning a steady pay roll. He was now starting to try to hook me up with guys he knew around the city, and I had tried going out with several of them, only to find them to be goody goody two shoes that nauseated me. 

"Maddi, my old roommate from college has recently moved in," he said enthusiastically. "He hasn't been in a stable relationship for a while, and I didn't think it would hurt if you would at least talk to him."
 Honestly, the thought of meeting on of Tristan's college boys enthused me; college boy equals party boy, and we all know how big of a party animal I am. I told Tristan that I would try to stop by after work and meet him, and Tristan wrote down his address and phone number for me. 

"Great!" I exclaimed, maybe a little too desperately. But I recently realized, that, for the first time in my life, I wanted to settle down and raise a family. But it couldn't hurt to have a fun man to be married to, now would it? 

Tristan raised a single eyebrowsat me and said, "In those clothes?"

I eyed myself up and down and peered at him skeptically. "Yeah... what's wrong with my clothes?"

"I'm not gonna lie, Mad, ya look like a whore."

Maybe I did, I thought, and chuckled to myself. A guess it couldn't hurt to get a bit of a makeover, but I definitely wasn't going to do anything drastic. 
 I collected my daily pay from the head honcho, and excitedly headed towards the salon to make myself over.  I kept trying to depict what this college boy would look like, and I wanted to make sure I didn't look too... easy when I met him. 
 I approached the call box and buzzed up to his room. "Uh, hey, college boy. This is Tristan's sis, Maddi."

I paused for a moment waiting for him to respond, and with a hum of the device, I heard a deep voice from the other end say, "Okay, I buzzed you in Maddi."

When I first saw him, I thought that he looked like a goody two shoes, and I ended up being right. He was aiming to be a journalist for the New Sim Times, and he had worked really hard to get there. Immediately, I felt foolish for even thinking he would be slightly interested in me, and I coaxed myself by saying that he wasn't my type anyway.

We talked for a while, and I guess you could say we were friendly acquaitances, like the ones you smile at in a grocery store, maybe stop and chat a little bit, but forget about ten minutes later. I didn't expect him to call me back, that was for sure.
When I came home, Tristan was on his cell. It was apparent that he was talking a romantic interest, with all the cooing and oohing that was going on over there. My stomach heaved. How nauseating. 

But, as I walked away, I couldn't help but feel a bit jealous. My brother, the heartbreaker, was having a better dating life than I could ever hope for. 

Sunday, November 14, 2010


 I was watching a particularly interesting episode of Glee on the worst television you could possibly imagine, all small, with the goofy little antennas sticking out the top. It looked like something from the '70's. Couldn't Tristan afford better? The TV was really ruining the TV show. 
 Tristan sat on the couch and gave me one of his fake smiles, one I recognized swiftly from my childhood. He wanted me to do something, probably something I really didn't want to do. I smiled briskly back at him.

"I know I'm letting you stay here until you get on your feet and all," he started, "but isn't gaining some sort of income would help... move things along?" 

 "Would you quit worrying? I'll get a job, and all that jazz, just let me relax a little first." Truth was, I just really didn't want to get off my ass and DO something. I was feeling particularly at ease and comfortable with being lazy.
"Maddi, I know you need my help, but I need my own space too, and the sooner you get out the better! Get up and get a job, I'm not going to be your push over." 
 I was stunned. Never had I expected Tristan to get angry with me--he was normally so even-tempered. But I knew he was right, and I didn't want to be kicked out, so I called for a cab.
 I dropped out from high school when I was sixteen, so I didn't have enough education to do much more than solve a few equations. It was near impossible to get a job at my level of education, so I settled with the abandoned warehouse on the outskirts of town. I figured if I was going to fit it anywhere, it would be here.

Time was going to go by slow, and with the tension at Tristan's apartment, I needed to get out of there soon.  

Founder: Maddi Vegas

 My name is Maddi Vegas. Ya know, like the city, I suppose. If only I lived up to my name! I live in a crummy apartment, correction! my brother's crummy apartment. As if I could afford one. 
 This is my brother, Tristan. I don't have the best relationship with him, but we're family, so we have to stick together. He's hardly every home; he's always been the heartbreaker of the family. So I guess the city life suits him. 
So here's a picture that I took when I got off the subway to live here. It's such a small portion of the city, you can't even get a glimpse of how big it is unless you lived here yourself. 
We weren't living in the best of situations, but I had to make it work for now.